"What are you? Chinese? Japanese? Americanese?"

Has anybody ever read a book where it's so funny and so true to life that it becomes unbearably uncomfortable? Where it hits a nerve inside of you that it causes you laughing out loud (to which my roommates think I am insane) in random outbursts?

I am about 40 pages away from being done with a book for my Chinese American literature class that has my sides splitting, that has done this to me through all of it's many chapters. It is called, "American Knees" by Shawn Wong. The title is a play off of the playground rhyme, "Chinese Japanese Dirty Knees..." and the book touches on many many subjects about race and sex that I feel many Asian Americans can relate to. Wong breaks every stereotype and pushes so many politically correct and incorrect buttons that I find myself wincing as I read many of the passages. Why? Because I have caught myself thinking these things (especially when I talk with other Asian Americans) and he has had the guts to portray characters that speak them out loud. In this class, I have been reading about very early Chinese American experiences. Now I have a book that was published in 2005. It's relieving to know that there are Asian American authors that have the guts to write about these things.

The following passage is about a character named Brenda, a Chinese American girl. What I find wholly fascinating...is that my mother did the same thing with my nose...and people HAVE talked about my well...yeah know.

"At Brenda's birth she had been relieved to see that her daughter had all her toes and fingers, and double eyelids as well. For good measure, she had pinched infant Brenda's nose to make it thin. Brenda was going to be an all-American girl....[Brenda talking] "They shouldn't give Asian women large breasts." Brenda had once said to Aurora. "In American culture, the boobs become your identity. Even Asian women mention it. Men come up to me and actually point at my breasts and say, 'oriental girls don't usually have those."

A few things about me: I am a Filipino American girl that was raised by first generation Filipino Immigrants. They raised me in a household as if it was straight out of Manila, with strict Catholic, conservative, collectivist thinking. I grew up in a predominately white town and essentially have a 'white' mindset. Regardless of me being Filipino American and Shawn Wong being Chinese American...I can relate to this book endlessly. Ever want to know what goes on through certain Asian American's heads when it comes to dating? Read this book.

The story line goes something like this: Raymond is Chinese American and he is has just divorced his very Chinese wife, Darleen. He is, in a sense, cleansing himself of all Chinese because he only married her to 'fulfill his duty' as first born son. He then starts dating Aurora (of which, he meets her at a party and they are the only two Asians there), a half Irish and half Japanese girl that is much younger than him. They have a very intimate relationship and then they break up. It is not only a story about race and identity, but it is also a very interesting story about two people falling in and out of love.

What is there to not like? There's sex, romance, and two incredibly funny characters. They're complicated and contradict each other. The dialogue is witty and humorous. At one point, Aurora even asks Raymond if there was a difference between making love to an Asian girl versus making love to a white girl. Boy, was I scared of the answer to that (and yes, there is an answer to it, according to Raymond).

There is a chapter in the book called, 'Fear of Flying.' At this point in the story, Raymond and Aurora have broken up. Aurora comes to an Asian American art benefit to see Raymond, simply because both of them are having a hard time letting go of each other. There is constant dialogue between Raymond and his friend Jimmy as they discuss dating amongst Asian American men and a separate dialogue between Aurora and her friend Brenda of which they too talk about dating amongst Asian American women.

In this passage, Aurora speaks of dating Asian men.

"Maybe it's not them we're so against. Maybe it's the thought of having two sets of Asian parents like our own. Maybe we're afraid the boys we marry will grow up to be our domineering fathers."
"Maybe it's like kissing your brother." countered Brenda.
[Ouch. I've heard that one before...in fact, I've said those things...]

Meanwhile...between the men, Raymond and Jimmy speak of flying.

"The worst is when I'm given a seat next to another Asian. The flight attendant automatically thinks the two 'Orientals' are together. If he or she is from China somewhere I don't really care. Maybe I can even help them out with the English. And they're relieved." Raymond pointed at Jimmy and started to laugh. "Except when they realize you can't speak Chinese all that well. It's why foreign-born Chinese call American born Chinese jook sing, hollow bamboo; me and you look Chinese, but we're hollow inside, no substance." Jimmy knocked his head and made a hollow sound by clicking his tongue. "We're in deep shit when the other passenger's an Asian American woman. The flight attendant is going to come by and ask, 'what would you two like to drink?' Everybody gets irritated by assumption. It becomes a contest of body language that says, I'm not with him, I don't know him, I speak English, I don't date Asian men because they're domineering wimps. 'No, I don't want tea. I'll have coffee - black.' THEN there's the Asian woman with the white husband who have been assigned the seats next to you..."

[Am I having a conversation with my old friend Dennis? Did Wong overhear he and I talking and write this down four years ago? Seriously??]

This book has in fact, really opened my eyes to how much intraracial prejudice that I have. I didn't think of the term until my professor said it out loud. Being prejudice towards your own ethnic and race group. When it comes to being part Asian and part American, do you always have to choose? Is it wrong to never want to date Asian men? Well...possibly, yes, if you harbor some sort of awkward resentment towards them. Seriously, I have said so many of these things...and reading them...I sound like such an ass! I have been so keen, so black and white about interracial dating (I have only dated white males) that I have become biased about the males of my race.

I constantly wonder: Ethelyn, why is this book so uncomfortable for you? Why are you virtually wincing when you read it? It's because it hits too close to home. Not in the way that 'The Joy Luck Club' did, where Amy Tan wrote about mother daughter relationships, generational gaps, and culture clashing...but where this is my life NOW. Wong deals with dating, identity as an Asian American, and relationships...how your lack of confidence in your identity might affect your relationships with the men you date (or choose not to date).

It's interesting because the first day of my Chinese American literature class, my professor had asked the class if anybody had read any Chinese American literature. I was the only one that raised my hand and I said that Amy Tan was one of my favorite authors. He seemed mighty impressed (especially since I was one of the three Asian kids in the class full of otherwise white students) and asked me why I liked her. I told him that I was able to relate to her writing very well. I had those warm, fuzzy feelings reminiscent of closing 'The Joy Luck Club' and thinking: 'Yes, maybe I DO need to understand my mother more.'

Well now I am very grateful for him introducing Shawn Wong to me. Instead of the warm fuzzies, I get the awkward, painful laughter deep within my gut. I get the eye opening 'Ha ha!' of laughing at not just the book...but also at myself as an Asian American.

Now, I just realized that was a very long blog. I apologize, it's just that I had so much to say about "American Knees." Regardless, I hope that you obtain a book that is just as uncomfortably funny for yourself.

I am off to go read a new book I bought today that my Young Adult literature professor suggested. It's a Printz Honor book, so I am veeerrryyy excited! "Monstrumologist" by Rick Yancy.

Until next time,
Ethelyn

PS..."American Knees" is also a film. Just an afterthought!